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Nothing, but nothing, that happens today can eclipse the joy of last night’s result.
Were you watching, Lord Triesman? Bernard Bresslaw, Michael Brunson, Emma Bunton, D’Arcy Bussel, Dave Clark, Phil Collins, Bobby Davro, Iain Duncan Smith, Peter Ebdon, Michael Fish, Bruce Forsythe, Mike Gatting, Charlotte Green, Stelios EasyJet, Kenneth Brannagh, Chas and Dave, Merv Hughes, Natasha Kaplinsky, Henry Kelly, David Lammy, Richard Littlejohn, Trevor MacDonald, Warren Mitchell, Peter Purves, Salman Rushdie, John Sopel, Bryan Adams, Anthony Andrews, Mike Ashley, your boys took a hell of a beating.
Now then, there are a few things that still have to be sorted out at the foot of the table.
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MAN CITY vs CRYSTAL PALACE (1230 ko)
Large portly Samuel’s miracle isn’t quite in the bag just yet, but if they avoid defeat and Swansea lose in the late game Crystal Palace will be mathematically safe. And who’d have thought that? Man City, meanwhile, have a chance to leapfrog Liverpool into third spot, but they’ll have to do that without Ageurro, Silva and Stones. Shouldn’t be too much of a problem, should it? Home win.
BOURNEMOUTH vs STOKE
There really is nothing to play for here, apart from pride and a possible top-half finish. The Cherries have successfully negotiated second season syndrome and will look to finish strongly. Stoke will hope to arrest an alarming slide in form and fortune. Draw.
BURNLEY vs WEST BROM
As Bournemouth emerge from their second season in the top flight, Burnley are about to enter it. There shouldn’t be too much of a problem negotiating a West Brom team that seems to have spent recent weeks soaking up the Mediterranean sun. Home win.
HULL vs SUNDERLAND
At last Sunderland have been put out of their misery. For Hull, the sweating continues although survival is firmly in their own hands. If they do survive, it will represent a feat no less impressive than what BFS has achieved at Selhurst Park. The Tigers must beware the wounded black cats. Home win.
LEICESTER vs WATFORD
Are you going to bother to read this? Am I going to bother two write it? Draw.
SWANSEA vs EVERTON (1730 ko)
It’s not looking good for the Swans and by the time they kick off in today’s late game, things may be looking a whole lot worse for the home side. But whatever happens at Hull, Swansea must win to keep the pressure on, to keep hope flickering, however faintly. Everton have secured seventh spot and any complacency arising from that knowledge will be the sole succour for the Swans. Draw.
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